Sometimes I get earworms. Sometimes those earworms involve the creation of filk snippets. Sometimes those snippets are so, ahem, compelling that I feel the need as a musician to finish them. The result of all of those sometimes around the winter holidays is the below, originally shared on Twitter and now brought here for your viewing/singing pleasure. I would apologize, but I’m not really sorry at all. THE FILK MUST FLOW.
In any case, whatever winter holiday you celebrate– or none at all– have a happy one! (And don’t forget to follow the retention period on your gift receipts!)
God Rest Ye Merry Archivists
It’s that time again…
🎶God rest ye merry archivists, let nothing you dismay
Remember T.R. Schellenberg published upon this day
To save us from the Jenkinsonian paradigm and sway
Appraising the records with joy, records with joy
Appraising the records with joy🎶— GingerBrad Houseton wants no more Nazis for Xmas (@herodotusjr) December 18, 2017
🎶In Washington did Schellenberg apply his merry trade
As director of management the fierce backlog was slayed
Uniqueness, form, and importance the records values made
Appraising the records a joy, records a joy
Appraising the records was a joy— GingerBrad Houseton wants no more Nazis for Xmas (@herodotusjr) December 18, 2017
🎶But T.R. did not reckon with the world outside his walls
He wasn’t post-custodial, and there his theory falls
We turn instead to Cook and Samuels (and sometimes to Frank Boles)
Documenting society with joy, society with joy
Documenting society with joy— GingerBrad Houseton wants no more Nazis for Xmas (@herodotusjr) December 18, 2017
🎶And then there came the electronic records in a flash
The tools we used to appraise them they really made a splash
But would they fit existing models or make the methods clash
Technical appraisal makes me say “oy”, makes me say “oy”
Technical appraisal makes me say “oy”— GingerBrad Houseton wants no more Nazis for Xmas (@herodotusjr) December 18, 2017
🎶The records managers said “Oi! Do not forget us, pray!
We work with all the records as they’re used from day-to-day!
And differences between us two will quickly go away
If you help the creators with a ploy, a records ploy
If you help creators build a records ploy— GingerBrad Houseton wants no more Nazis for Xmas (@herodotusjr) December 18, 2017
🎶Today the ghost of Schellenberg makes dusty kittens die
But more than one good archivist is simply asking “why”?
If we select from records a narrative we imply
Appraisal is not neutral, unlike soy, neutral like soy
We make choices, we are not neutral like soy🎶— GingerBrad Houseton wants no more Nazis for Xmas (@herodotusjr) December 18, 2017
Have Yourself a Merry Disposition
Ahem. 🎶 Have yourself a Merry Disposition
Let your files be light
There’s no case to keep that source data tonightHave yourself a Merry Disposition
Throw that file away
Or archive it; the point is that it cannot stay🎶— GingerBrad Houseton wants no more Nazis for Xmas (@herodotusjr) December 8, 2017
🎶those are Records of Olden Days
They weren’t Golden Days
They stunk
If we kept all our files from then
We’d be overwhelmed with junk… Sooooo…🎶— GingerBrad Houseton wants no more Nazis for Xmas (@herodotusjr) December 8, 2017
🎶Paper or ‘lectronic, doesn’t matter
Schedules allow
For you to dispose of obsolete stuff– Wow!
So have yourself a Merry Disposition. NOW.”🎶 #RMCarols— GingerBrad Houseton wants no more Nazis for Xmas (@herodotusjr) December 8, 2017
I Won’t Be Home For Christmas
Ahem. In the tradition of @marccold :
🎶I won’t be home for Christmas
‘Cause there’s too much to do
This EAD won’t validate
This scrapbook split in two (cont.)🎶— GingerBrad Houseton wants no more Nazis for Xmas (@herodotusjr) November 29, 2017
🎶ArchivesSpace is busted
Its database wiped clean
I’ll describe my collections
But only in my dreams🎶— GingerBrad Houseton wants no more Nazis for Xmas (@herodotusjr) November 29, 2017
And A Bonus Carol That Shall Remain Nameless
…You know what? I’m not going to embed this one. I AM sorry this one happened. But for the sake of completeness you can find it here.
The Schedule 
OMG DED. This killed me. Killed me ded. I should maybe have a more professional response, but nope. Ded.